I suffer from the neurological disorder called Tourette’s syndrome (TS). My symptoms started at the age of five with little tics like eye blinking, nose sniffing and repetitive phrases like “excuse me excuse me” and “I love you.” Little did I know that I was embarking upon a life that embodied the word different, despite being male, white, and growing up in the suburbs of St. Louis. One would also think that having TS would be enough to qualify an individual to be an “expert” in the field diversity and tolerance, but in my life, I, of course, love to be different. When I was just two days old, the doctors told my parents that I was born with an incredibly rare intestinal disease that left me virtually no working intestines. It’s about as pleasant as it sounds. To make a long story end with a smile, I now have only four feet of intestines (compared to the standard length of 20 feet), and miraculously lead a fairly normal gastrointestinal life. The only catch is that I now have completely liquid and embarrassing-sounding bowel movements about 5-8 times a day. I know you’re wondering, so yes - that is a lot of times to go in one day!
To me, the most fascinating aspect of dealing with these challenges is being so different, in a more unusual way. Let me explain: From our schooling, the media, parents, and everything in between we’re all constantly bombarded with messages of diversity that point out the many macro issues that define our individuality: sex, race, creed, national origin, color, sexual orientation, etc. Yet even with all these attributes that clearly define us, my specific challenges, especially TS, seem to transcend them all. By saying inappropriate words, making weird gestures, producing loud sounds and more, I have learned first hand how people treat and react to someone who is actually so very different. The reactions I receive from people vary. Sitting at the San Francisco International Airport, you’d think that there are plenty of “different” people here and my noises and movements would just blend in. Well, you’d think wrong. Even with all of these people, most eyes are on me.
Although these challenges combined seem a bit grim, let me assure you there are some incredible advantages. First and foremost, because of the way my intestinal track is now configured, I now have the inability to fart; thus, if it smells, it definitely wasn’t me! Secondly, with TS I was the undisputed champion of the “PENIS” game in high school.
All jokes aside, these challenges are very real – and have provided me the chance to learn invaluable lessons about tolerance. And now I have the incredible opportunity to share my message of tolerance all around the country.
A year ago, I created the presentation “What Makes You Tic.” Filled with memorable stories and anecdotes, I try to teach tolerance in a relatable and realistic manner. What do I mean by that?
From the first day of kindergarten, we’re told to accept and embrace everyone’s differences. That is honestly a great thing that we teach children highly idealistic principles during such formative years in human development. But as we all get older, we all know that is just not how life works. The idea that we “just have to accept everyone and their differences” completely neglects some of our most basic human instincts – our instinct to make completely unfounded and baseless assumptions about other individuals. It’s not wrong, it just happens. The reason I say I teach a “realistic” approach of tolerance is to give audiences total permission to continue to make assumptions about those who are different. It might be incredibly difficult to change one’s assumptions and perceptions about those who are different. What is easy to change though, is the way in we one acts upon those assumptions.
Instead of talking about tolerance in the “we have to embrace differences” manner (because, let’s be honest, it’s a nice idea but not realistic), I teach tolerance with the phrase “live and let live.” It’s the idea that “I am going to live my life and I am going to let others live theirs. By sharing my challenges and encounters of intolerance, I bring audiences into my life in hopes to remind them of how little we know about other people’s live and what they are going through on a day-to-day basis.
The bottom line is, no one wants to be told what he or she can or cannot think. We can all make assumptions about other people who have different skin colors, or look different, or smell different, or make loud noises, who have liquid bowl movements, or play their iPods way too loud, or are just plain annoying and rude. What’s important, though, is that we don’t turn those assumptions into actions. Because doing so could, in turn, negatively impact someone’s life all because of our own ignorance. Maybe that person is just being rude because he or she is unkind. On the other hand, maybe that person was rude because his or her parents recently divorced, or maybe he or she is dealing with depression, an eating disorder, anxiety, schizophrenia, or a death of a close friend - the possibilities are endless.
Being a tolerant individual isn’t about accepting everyone. Nobody is perfect, but no matter our age, tolerance is something we all should aspire to. Being a tolerant person is about recognizing how little we truly know about others. It is about living a life in which you are able to freely live yours and, most of all, you allow other people to freely live theirs - - “Live and Let Live.”
Marc Elliot knows the importance of understanding people's differences and he is now inspiring audiences all across the country by sharing his life story to convey the value of tolerance and the basic attitudes and behaviors that allow it to flourish.
Marc can be reached at marc@whatmakesyoutic.com. or on his website www.whatmakesyoutic.com.
